The Long and Winding Road

I have been a professional photographer for over 30 years.  In that time I've logged a couple million miles on airplanes.  That's roughly the equivalent of 4 trips to the moon - and back.  While I haven't been to the moon - yet, anyway - I have been to lots of places.  I love to travel - or maybe I should say I love to see new places.  Part of the joy of being a visually sensitive soul is being inspired by new scenery, new people and interesting places.   But it's a double-edged sword.  It also means being away from home.

Over the years I've missed major life events like anniversaries, birthdays and the like.  These are the moments that bind people together and build close bonds.  I'm lucky in that I have understanding friends and family and I've managed to build those connections in other ways.  But there is no substitute for missing the last birthday of a family member before they pass away.  There is no way to replace the feeling of emptiness knowing that your wife is celebrating her birthday and everyone she cares about is at the party - except me.  I'm left with a longing that isn't cured by the joy of new discoveries.

I often find myself singing this part of an old Kenny Loggins song called "Celebrate Me Home":

Please, celebrate me home
Play me one more song,
That I’ll always remember,
I can recall,
Whenever I find myself too all alone,
I can make believe I’ve never gone,
I never know where I belong,
Sing me home.

All this travel - and the resulting absences - make it difficult to get into a rhythm.  When I do get the luxury of being home for a few weeks in a row, there is a saneness that creeps into my life.  It is derived from the joy of knowing that I am waking up in the same place, within reach of the people I that help bring meaning to my life.  I love where I live so to be able to stay home and immerse myself in the warmth of family, friends and place is irreplaceable.  

With that said, I wouldn't change a thing.  Life, after all, is about balance.  For me, it's about knowing what allows me to grow and live life in a way that brings fulfillment.  Part of that means meeting new people, seeing new and different places and capturing my vision of the world in pictures. It also means building strong friendships and lasting, meaningful relationships with family that help love flourish.   My mother used to tell me that life is a careful dance of give and take.  I never understood that until I got older and realized that giving and taking come both at home and on the road.